


a development

by orphan_account



Series: figuring it out [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, F/M, First Kiss, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-23 12:06:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17683121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Caleb hardly ever removes his coat and when he does Nott can't stop looking at him.





	1. Observation

**Author's Note:**

> So my first ever fan fiction is about how I have a crush on Caleb Widogast and I want to project it onto Nott. If anyone reads this be gentle with me I've never really written fiction before and I'm just copying styles that I like to read, which I think just means I'm rambling about how cute I think Caleb is.

The days activities left Nott anxious and jumpy, it wasn’t every day that she was so openly exposed as a goblin let alone chased through the streets by crowns guard. So as the evening drew to a close and Caleb and her retired for the night, Nott goes about making another vile of acid in hopes of giving her hands something to do to occupy her worried mind. After setting the alarm as he did every night, Caleb hunkered down at the desk in their shared room with that fancy book they acquired from the smut shop the other day. Beau had very little praise for the book, having read about half of it as they waited for their midnight meeting the previous night, but Caleb would read anything in an attempt to glean any secrets hidden within the text. 

As Notts' acid began to percolate the room began to grow warm, a nice change from the damp chill that had overtaken Zadash the past few days. Nott took the opportunity to set aside her porcelain mask and remove her cloak and bandages to feel the warm air against her skin. They spent nearly thirty minutes in silence as Nott watched the acid drip quietly and Caleb flipped quickly through the pages of his book. She almost could have fallen asleep in her position on the floor when Caleb suddenly shifted at the desk, pulling at the edge of his coat. Nott noticed a faint sheen of sweat on his brow. In a huff Caleb stood and began unwrapping his scarf from around his neck, folding it neatly on the desk. To Notts' surprise she watched as Caleb removed his heavy fleece lined coat and gingerly sat it on the back of the chair. 

It has been a rare sight to see Caleb in so few layers, his thin body never being able to hold onto enough heat as the seasons progressed slowly toward winter. Thought to most he would still seem fairly well covered with his high necked long sleeved shirt and bandages covering the rest of the way to his knuckles, Nott thought of this as a rather revealing act for Caleb. His coat did so much to obscure his form, adding weight where there was very little, bulking up his boney shoulders and narrow waist. She had almost forgotten what he looked like underneath the heavy coat that he wore like armor.

It was then that she noticed that she had been staring at him for what was probably an inappropriate amount of time as he smoothed out his rumpled shirt and rolled his shoulders back, his shirt tugging across his wide shoulders. She quickly adverted her gaze, attempting to obscure her bright yellow eyes in her long black hair. Caleb hasn’t seemed to notice her staring from the floor, likely still too engaged in his reading to attempt to focus on anything else. His head is still leaned down towards the book on the desk as he fiddles with the straps of his holster. While some men carried knives in a side holster Caleb carried books. Although in Caleb’s hands a book could be just as deadly as a blade. Caleb grabbed his well loved books from their protected positions under his arms and set them gingerly on the desk next to his scarf before finally breaking eye contact with his new acquisition to stretch his arms over his head, rolling his neck from side to side and scrunching up his face as his tense muscles finally feel relief from his poor posture. 

Nott stared openly at Caleb now, watching as the leather band of his holster stretched and shifted up his ribcage the higher he held his arms, the strap that wrapped over his shoulders pulled tight against either side of his thin chest. Caleb was by no means a strong man, but his rather frail frame was still a sight to behold in Notts' eyes. She had always found him to be rather handsome if not striking at times when his piercing blue eyes focused on something of interest. He was thin, but broad in the shoulders with long arms and legs that he tried to move with some semblance of grace. And Caleb’s own observations about his chest were correct, he was nearly concave in his thinness, but probably not as much as he thought himself to be. Nott bet she could count his ribs with his shirt pulled tight like it is. Seeing him so exposed, and yet not, felt strangely intimate.

Letting out a breath Caleb swung his arms back down and shook his hands out. For a moment he almost looked cute, shirt disheveled and held unevenly by the holster, a warm flush coloring his face. Nott was entranced by seeing Caleb looking so vulnerable. She realized he must actually feel safe right now, locked up in their little room with his alarm spell set, warmth emanating from the alchemy happening on the floor. She hoped that knowing she was here with him helped. Nott feels so fond of him in this moment she thinks she would stay with him forever if it meant he could feel safe. 

Unaware of Notts' admiration, Caleb went about pulling his holster back into its proper place around his ribs and straightening his shirt, he even dared to roll the sleeves up his arms but made no motion to unwrap the bandages that only now showed a visible end near the crook of his elbow. The heat in the room apparently is not stifling enough for him to expose himself further. She thinks removing the bandages may be akin to nudity to Caleb. Nott isn’t sure if she’s ever seen his bare arms before. She images he has his reasons, as she has hers. She watches as Caleb collects his book from the desk and gracelessly climbs up onto the bed, getting himself comfortable with a pillow between his back and the wall to stretch his gangly legs out before reopening the book to continue his reading. 

It’s only now that Caleb has gone through the motions of gathering all of Notts' wrapt attention that he looks up from his book, eyes slightly unfocused, to see Nott staring at him unabashedly with a wistful look on her face. Attention has never been something that Caleb handles well, so having Notts' bright yellow eyes on him in such an intense way causes him to visibly tense, the flush on his face deepening to a ruddy blush creeping up his neck. She idly wonders if the color continues further down past his collar. He scans her in that concentrated way that he looks at magical objects, looking for information that she hasn’t said aloud, but clearly isn’t hiding either. She is openly adoring him in this moment. And he can see it on her face.

He breaks the stare and turns his face away down toward the book in his lap before clearing his throat in an attempt to seem casual under her gaze. Is this… shyness?

“Vhat are you staring at?” he asks, as if he wasn’t just making direct eye contact with her. His embarrassment with the attention causing the red of his neck to crawl up his face further, endearing him more to her.

“J-just haven’t seen you with your coat off in a long time. Almost forgot you had a body under there!” Nott replied in a chipper voice, hoping that sounding more jovial would put Caleb at ease since she thoroughly embarrassed him with her shameless ogling. While she doesn’t regret looking at him the way she did, she doesn’t want to make him so uncomfortable that he never removes his coat again. It’s a selfish reason but an honest one. 

Caleb clears his throat again, “Ja, it is uh, a bit warm in here,” attempting to deflect the attention. In his nervousness he fidgets and fixes his posture, rolling his shoulders back toward the wall. He must not notice that this only serves to tighten his shirt and holster across his chest.

Emboldened by this strange new power she has to fluster Caleb, Nott continues, “I like the holster you wear to carry your books,” she gestures at her own chest for emphasis, “It looks very nice on you!” 

It was a very mild compliment, but enough to cause his face to fully match the fiery red of his neck. His lips press into a thin line as he adverts his eyes once more, looking down at his chest as he runs a hand across the band of leather wrapping around his ribs. He is smiling under his hair.

“Thank you, Nott,” he says quietly, unsure what else to say. 

“You’re very welcome,” Nott replies.

It’s as if he is unused to compliments, which shouldn’t be the case as she compliments his skills in magic all the time. All of his nervous energy seems to be funneled into movement as his hands find themselves pushing his hair back from his face before falling flat onto the open book in his lap to feel the paper between his rough fingers. When she calls him smart he typically gives a small smile and a curt thank you before returning to any sort of prior conversation as if nothing happened. Perhaps it is only compliments to his appearance that cause this new reaction. And if that is the case then Nott is more than happy to shower him in affection, she has many nice things to say about him after all.

“You’re very handsome, you know! You should- you should take your coat off more often, maybe you’ll be even better at persuading all the pretty rich people in town!” She finishes with a flourish, trying to couch her very forthright comments in something a bit more utilitarian than just leaving them for him to parse out the more full truth which is that Nott just enjoys looking at him.

His brow furrows into a face she knows to be one of doubt. Does he not know that he’s good looking?

“You flatter me, I am very average looking at best,” he glances at her before looking away just as quickly, “Fjord is much more handsome than me and he does just fine most of ze time on his own when we need to persuade people.” 

He’s rubbing a hand up his arm over the bandages. He’s being far too modest and trying to change the focus of Notts' compliments, deflecting in a way that would seem like fishing if she didn’t known him so well. Unfortunately for him she’s going to treat it like fishing anyway. She bounds out of her little cloak nest, filled with all of the energy that she had previously tried to settle, throwing herself up onto the end of the bed at Calebs' feet in one big leap. She grabs him gingerly by his ankles so she knows she has the full attention of those bright eyes before speaking again.

“I politely disagree, I find you to be far above average! A-and yes Fjord is quite charming but-but…” She trails off, attempting to find a few more words to tie a ribbon on this sentence. Nott gives Calebs' legs another squeeze.

“But Fjord doesn’t have your pretty blue eyes.”

Quiet like a whisper, and with more feeling than she had intended, it slips out of her before she knows she’s said it. She wasn’t sure if his face could get any more red, but somehow he’s managed. Nott feels a rush of embarrassment at how forward she’s being and quickly pulls her hands toward her chest, turning away as her big goblin ears swoop down low and her face flushed a deep forest green. She feels overexposed, no cloak or mask to hide behind. And if his poor human vision couldn’t make out the details of her before they certainly could now that she’s hopped up into his space. His perceptive stare now far too perceptive. She has meant everything she’s said and won’t take it back, but now that it’s out in the open it feels too revealing, too much too fast. 

Nott begins to stammer out some pleasantries, attempting to gloss over the far too true words she isn’t ready to deal with, deflecting as Caleb just did. When she manages to look Caleb in the eyes again his once fierce icy stare has melted into something a little more tepid. He’s still a bit flushed in the face, but now he has a softer knowing look in his eyes.

“Your eyes are quite lovely, too,” his voice comes out a bit quiet but clear and without hesitation. Caleb is earnest, even in compliments. 

“Th-thank you, Caleb” her voice comes out as little more than a croaking squeak. She would swear she’s on fire by how hot her face is burning under his gaze. 

Nott is a bit taken aback by her compliments being turned around on her. As a goblin she doesn’t receive a lot of comments on her appearance other than screaming in fear, which she’s used to. But she feels she can take Calebs' words at face value. He has nothing to gain from needless flattery. To hammer in his sincerity, this new uncharacteristic shyness overcomes him again, he gives her a nod and he glances away, the wall suddenly becoming very interesting as he runs a hand through his hair again.

Perhaps this more than just being overly modest.

There’s a silence that grows uncomfortably between them with both too awkward to acknowledge the elephant that Nott has dropped square in the middle of the room. She has more things she could say, more compliments yes but also a few things a bit more intimate that she isn’t sure she’s ready to say yet. She needs more time to gauge Calebs' reactions before running headlong into something that could ruin their friendship. But Nott is always one for ending an awkward silence and since she brought the elephant into the room it’s only fair she takes it out.

“May I read with you?” the question comes exploding out of her a bit louder than planned.

Caleb brings his focus back to her and blinks in surprise at the drastic change in subject. “Ja, yes of course.”

He scoots himself over a bit so that Nott can crawl up to his side as she always does when they read together. She hesitates a moment, unsure of how close is too close now that his fleecey armor has been abandoned. Being bold has had good results so far so why stop now? She lifts Calebs' arm up out of the way so she can slot herself next to his chest. Hesitation must be contagious, because it feels like a long moment before Caleb brings his arm back down to wrap lightly around her shoulders, pulling her ever closer to his midsection.

“So… what have I missed?” Nott inquires about the book. Caleb has read nearly half of it in the short time he’s had it. 

“Ah, well, Beau was right; zis guy is an arsehole,” Caleb begins. Nott does her best to actually listen to the plot, though it does sound rather droll, even the sexy parts seemed to have been boring and mechanically described. Though watching Caleb dance around descriptions of sex scenes is quite amusing. 

They sit in a comfortable silence now, Nott nestled into his side. Caleb slows his pace and waits for Nott to tell him she’s finished before turning the page. This routine activity between them feels a little different than it had before, like there’s a shift in the air, not unpleasant but noticeable. Caleb seems to have relaxed, his long arm wrapping around Nott where she has pulled her knees to her chest. His hand rests comfortably on top of both of her tiny knees, his thumb rubbing back and forth like the ticking of a clock. Feeling she has one more bold move left in her for the night, Nott gently rests her clawed hand against Caleb side. She feels a hitch in Calebs' breathing, and the ticking of his thumb stutters, but only for a moment before falling back into the rhythm. 

Her suspicion was confirmed; she can in fact count his ribs through his shirt.


	2. Drinks on Molly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have a drink, Caleb can't hold his liquor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably never be this productive again in my life but I just can't stop.

Caleb finds himself at the bar of the tavern flanked on either side by two of his more colorful companions, Mollymauk and Fjord. The ladies have stollen themselves away at a booth laughing loudly amongst themselves claiming it was a girls night and there were no boys allowed at the table. Caleb had attempted to protest, he enjoys a drink every now and again but sitting at the bar getting sloshed isn’t what he was planning to do with this rare evening of respite. Being sandwiched between Molly and Fjord ensures that there is no escape for him tonight. 

“Buck up, lad! I’m buying your drinks tonight and you have no say in the matter,” Molly confirms his fears, he’s trapped for at least the next few hours. Molly wraps his arm tight around Calebs shoulders and squeezes his barely-there bicep. 

“Just try and relax, Caleb, have a little fun.” Fjord says calmly, putting a hand reassuringly on his back.

“Ja, sure,” Caleb responds quietly, looking down at the table with his hands held tightly in his lap.

He shrinks into himself, maybe if he gets small enough they won’t notice if he leaves. There’s too much noise, too many people, and everyone is touching him and it all feels like it’s just too much. Maybe a drink would be helpful. 

Almost as if someone was reading his mind, a short glass of honey brown liquor is slid in front of him, it smell sharp like a whiskey. He looks up at Molly, holding a taller glass of some colorful spirit raising it in a mock toast before knocking half of it back. Caleb carefully grabs the glass and raises it to no one in particular before taking a tentative sip of it. Yep that was whiskey. Caleb feels the tendons on his neck pull tight as the strong flavor passes over his tongue and warms his throat. Fjord has drank nearly his whole trost already and Molly is in the process of ordering another round for the three of them. Feeling what could almost be considered peer pressure Caleb sits up straight and tosses the rest of his glass down in one big gulp before bringing it down with a heavy thump. He does his best to keep his expression neutral as the alcohol burns its way down to his stomach. 

“See! Not so hard is it?” Molly looked impressed, giving Caleb a firm slap on the back before passing him his next drink, this one suspiciously blue.

“Molly I don’t think Caleb can drink as much as you or I can,” ever the voice of reason Fjord gestures at this colorful beverage, “Don’t feel pressured to keep pace, Caleb. We’re having fun not getting sick.”

“Ja I know, I know,” Caleb waves his hand dismissively, “All ze attention just makes me… nervous.”

“My apologies, we didn’t mean to m-“ Fjord manages to get out before Mollymauk claps a hand on Calebs’ shoulder to angle them toward each other.

“Well then our little friend Nott must make you rather nervous all the time, eh?” 

Molly has a knowing smirk on his face, his eyebrows up nearly to his horns as he looks at Caleb through his lashes taking a sip from his drink. Caleb isn’t quite sure what Molly thinks he knows but anytime he makes a face like that there’s usually cause for concern.

“I don’t… I don’t know vhat you’re talking about…” Caleb trails off looking to see Nott at the booth sitting next to Jester. She tucked safely into a corner with her mask hanging loosely from one ear laughing at something Beau had said. It’s nice to see her enjoying herself so openly with the others. She’s paying no mind to the boys at the bar.

“She isn’t even looking at me,” Caleb offers, confused about what Molly is insinuating.

“Not now, but she does,” Molly takes a long drag from his drink.

“I don’t understand, of course she looks at me. We do have conversations, like we are having right now. You look at me too,” Caleb gestures at the space between them before taking a sip from his oddly fruity drink.

Mollymauk turns to look toward the booth and Caleb continues to look at Molly, trying to decode the meaning of this conversation by studying his face. 

“Yeah, but I don’t look at you like that,” he says as he swings his head back around and shoots a thumb over his shoulder at the ladies.

Caleb braves another glance over at their table to catch Nott making that face again, the one he saw her making at him in their room the other night. That soft, wistful expression with her chin in her hand. It last very briefly, as Nott immediately adverts her eyes to Jester once Caleb has turned to face her. He could think nothing of it if he wanted, but seeing the green of her cheeks grow dark confirms that he did see what he thought he saw. He feels his own face grow warm remembering that oddly intimate reading session they had the other night. He sees Mollymauk eyeing him and he grows warmer at the inspection, feeling a flush crawl up from his neck. Molly apparently saw the same thing that Caleb sees.

“I don’t know vhat you are talking about,” Caleb whispers into his drink, his posture worsening the longer Molly has his eyes on him.

“Oh I think you do,” Molly whispers in return.

“Molly are you trying to imply something?” Fjord asks from somewhere over Calebs right shoulder.

“Oh nothing! Just that I have observed Nott making eyes at Caleb and if attention makes him so uncomfortable then perhaps words need to be had with her about-“

“Nein, nein, we don’t uh, we don’t have to talk to her about it,” Caleb interrupts in a rushed voice, wanting whatever Mollymauk was going to volunteer himself for to stop.

“So you do know,” Molly drawls, his accent getting a bit thick now that he’s been drinking. He sounds immensely pleased with himself.

“Caleb, not to take sides with Molly, but she does kind of… I don’t want to say ogle you, but she stares from time to time,” Fjord is more straight to the point, but is at least delicate in his delivery. 

“Vhat would you have me do about it? Have her never look at me?” Caleb snaps at the both of them, his temper beginning to bubble in his gut along with the drinks. He sounds as defensive as he feels. As if he needs to put a barrier between them and her. 

“Woah now no one is saying it’s a bad thing,” Fjord says trying to defuse this suddenly tense situation. “Molly was likely just… testing the waters… as it were, on what your thoughts on the matter are.”

“I have no thoughts on the matter,” Caleb goes back to staring at his hands, a safe place to look for the time being.

“Come now Caleb, you must feel some kind of way about it. I mean clearly you’ve noticed,” Molly gestures at his face, red and betraying him.

Caleb finishes off his blue drink and takes a long moment to think, hoping that the alcohol will give him a little courage. Of course he’s noticed, he spends nearly every waking moment in Notts presence and as of recently has been made keenly aware that at the very least Nott finds him attractive. They hadn’t talked any further about it, but Nott has been more forward with him recently; holding his hand even when they aren’t trying to blend in, buying him more drinks, stealing more baubles and stuffing them in his pockets. He doesn’t usually take flattery very seriously, normally it is only a means to an end, but Nott is always so sincere with everything she says. It doesn’t help that he has grown fond of her over the time they’ve spent together. 

“I have noticed,” he says flatly, the cowardice winning out for now. Deflecting as he always does.

There’s a beat of silence before Molly speaks into his third full glass, “I think she likes ya.”

If he hadn’t already finished his drink he likely would have choked on it. Caleb isn’t an idiot. He can see that Nott is feeling more than she is letting on. But having it pointed out to him makes it feel real, like he wasn’t imagining the whole thing, that he wasn’t just looking at her through rose tinted glasses. 

Mollys’ red eyes go wide at Calebs’ reaction looking as if he’s hit the jackpot. “Why Mr. Widogast, you wouldn’t happen to feel some kinda way about little ol’ Nott would you?”

Attempting to at least sound neutral despite feeling the affects of his drink begin to set in, Caleb deflects again, “I feel a number of ways about a number of things.”

He knows that the color of his face is nearly the color of his hair at this point, almost as red as this drink that has materialized in his hands. He continues his practiced apathy anyway, making eye contact with his glass instead. 

Molly is no idiot either. His non-answer is answer enough. But Fjord interjects first this time. “Now Molly we said we were gonna have a nice fun evening with our pal Caleb and I don’t think that entails embarrassing the man half to death now does it? You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to Caleb, but we’re here to listen if you do.” 

Fjord must be looking at him with that damn handsome face of his, trying to charm him into spilling his guts by being on his side, but Caleb is still trying to get his now bleary eyes to focus on his glass of fiery red drink and isn’t daring to look away until he is certain that he has his traitorous face in order. Maybe he should have had more food at dinner tonight.

What could I possibly say anyway? That I’m some kind of a weirdo with a crush on goblin? A goblin that treats me with more kindness than I’ve ever earned? A goblin that almost makes me believe I’m allowed to have good things just because she says so? A cute goblin girl with pretty eyes that looks at me sidelong through her hair when she thinks I can’t see her and makes me feel like I’m not so disgusting after all?

There’s a pregnant silence that has fallen between the three of them and Caleb dares to glance at Mollymauk, who is staring at him with stars in his eyes like he’s just watched a touching scene from a play. He looks over to Fjord who is staring at him slack-jawed in disbelief. There’s a dawning realization in Caleb that makes all the blood in his face drain straight to his feet.

“Did I say all of zat out loud?”

“You certainly did my friend, and quite eloquently as well if I may add,” Molly says casually as he raises his glass.

“I’m so glad you’re buying my drinks, Mollymauk,” Caleb raises his drink to clink clumsily with Mollys’ before pouring it straight down his throat, not even trying to hide the face he makes as it burns going down, “Because I’m going to need anotha one.”

“Alright Caleb that may be enough for you now if you’re gonna be saying things you aren’t meaning to say,” Fjord says, being entirely too reasonable right now for how Caleb is feeling.

“But I did mean it,” Caleb turns to look at Fjord, who seems to be more out of focus that he used to be. “I meant every word of it.” He sloppily puts a hand on Fjords’ arm in an attempt at seeming earnest now that he can’t seem to keep his mouth shut. He gives Fjords’ arm a squeeze before letting his hand fall back to the counter, “You and your too handsome face… charming information out of me like I’m some dim witted rube…”

“You think I’m handsome, Caleb?” Fjord puts a dainty hand on his chest in mock embarrassment.

“Shut up everyone thinks you’re handsome,” waving a hand dismissively in Fjords direction.

“He’s not wrong you know,” Molly says matter of factly, giving Fjord a wink, to which Fjord rolls his eyes.

Feeling a bit woozy as his last drink starts making its way through him Caleb leans more on the counter. He’s feeling a bit proud, knowing Notts’ thoughts on the matter of how handsome Fjord is. He leans his head on his hand and looks smugly at Fjord, “Nott thinks I’m more handsome than you, Fjord.”

“Does she now?” Fjord inquires, believing every word that Caleb says a little bit less the more drunk he gets.

“Ja, she told me herself ze other night. She thinks I have pretty eyes,” Caleb wobbles a bit and bats his lashes at Fjord for emphasis. Filled with affection for his goblin companion he turns himself away from Fjord to look at her. She’s glowing, filled with joy at having friends who accept her so willingly and without reservation. 

“And juz look at her!” Caleb gestures vaguely in her direction, “Radiant like fire.”

“Fjord I think you’re right it seems that he has had enough to drink for the night. Let’s take him to bed before I start getting secondhand embarrassment from him.” Molly gets up briskly, digging a few pieces of gold out of his pocket and setting them on the counter for the bartender. Fjord stands too, and Caleb feels very small next to the two of them. Suddenly he’s being hoisted out of his seat from under both arms. The sudden moment causing his head to spin and he falls over onto Fjord, who apparently was ready to catch him, wrapping a heavy arm around Calebs’ shoulders. They begin making their way to the stairs leading to their rooms with Caleb in tow, who only gently protests, knowing that they can drag his spindly form if they want to. 

They pass by the ladies table and Mollymauk does a dramatic bow, “We bid you adieu, ladies. Our comrade here can’t hold his liquor and we’re taking him to bed before he starts writing poetry,” He looks over to Caleb and gives a dramatic wink, “Honestly if anyone ever needs to pull information out of Caleb just fill him with booze!” He finishes with a flourish of his colorful coat and continues up the stairs. Even while drunk this amount of attention is too much and Caleb pulls his hand nervously through his hair, trying not to look at anyone in particular as he’s dragged up the stairs by Fjord. But he feels the eyes on him, golden and ever present.

Fjord deposits him on his bed, Mollymauk has magically fetched him a glass of water and set it on the night stand. Molly considers his job done, pats Caleb on the cheek, and hollers over his shoulder on the way out, “Sleep tight lover boy!” 

A fresh wave of embarrassment rolls over him and he flops backward onto the bed, holding his red face in his hands as he waits for the room to stop spinning. 

He feels a firm pat on the top of his boot, “I apologize if we took advantage of you, that was not our intentions for this evening. You know Molly he just… gets a little excited when he thinks he’s learned a secret.”

“You aren’t going to say anything are you?” Calebs’ embarrassment bleeds into anxiety as he attempts to look up at Fjord.

“No, of course not. What happens at the bar stays at the bar,” Fjord gives him another pat and a conspiratorial wink. 

“Thank you, Fjord,” Caleb whispers, slumping back onto the pillow.

Fjord nods and takes his leave, quietly closing the door behind him as Caleb allows himself to drift off to sleep, what happened tonight is now a problem for future Caleb to solve.


	3. Meeting in the Middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes being forward is the smartest move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that this obsession has left me... for now.

A small beam of light rouses Caleb from his sleep, the morning sun coming in between the curtains of his small room. He doesn’t dare move yet as he takes in his surroundings, a habit from when he spent most nights sleeping in the woods. He feels a warm pressure on the back of his legs. He carefully lifts his head from the pillow, the room spinning slightly from his hangover, and sees the sleeping form of Nott curled up behind his bent legs like a cat. Her normally lithe body huddled small and compact.

He takes a moment to gaze at her, her face relaxed and a few pointy teeth poking out from her lips as she snores quietly. He enjoys seeing her in moments like this, where she looks calm, unburdened by the stress of living in hiding. He wishes he could see her like this more often, that the world was a kinder place for people like her. His aching body demands that he get out of bed so he removes himself from her as carefully as possible, trying not to wake her so early. He manages to pull his legs from her but unfortunately she’s laying on a rather large portion of his coat. Briefly he contemplates pulling it out from under her before thinking better of it and slides it off his shoulders, draping the rest of it gently over her.

“Oof,” Caleb grunts as his feet hit the ground, he slept in his shoes again. As he makes a number of undignified sounds while removing his boots he watches Nott roll in her sleep, pressing her face into the fleece lining of his coat. Her mouth twitches into something akin to a smile and she signs contently. He wonders what she’s dreaming about.

He could reach over and brush the inky black hair away from her face if he wanted to. She seems to be sleeping deeply, she might not wake at his touch. She just looks so beautiful…

Caleb catches himself reaching toward Nott’s face. He stares at the back of his hand in disgust as if it had started moving on its own and quickly withdraws it. He backs away from the bed, bumping into the chair next to the desk, causing it to scrape the wooden floor. He nearly jumps out of his skin in surprise. On the bed Nott shifts again, pulling his coat tighter around herself before he hears the faint sound of her voice.

“Caleb…” Soft like a sigh, followed only by the sounds of her sleeping breath.

Quietly, Caleb moves to sit in the chair, eyes never leaving Nott’s sleeping form. It’s as if he has been punched in the sternum, that he’s bleeding and the warmth is spreading within. He rubs a hand over his boney chest to see that he’s still there. Maybe it was Caleb that was dreaming. But his dreams usually go either much better or much worse. Sometimes he dreams of burning, of darkness, of death. But sometimes he does dream of Nott, all brilliant sunshine, the whisper of soft sheets, gentle hands. Normally in dreams it is easy to pursue desires because none of it is real. This feels too real. Caleb can smell the humid air in the room, hear the murmur of tavern folk, feel his skin prickling with either excitement or anxiety, and he’s hot like a fire. 

But if this is all he has to feel in order to witness Nott’s beautiful sleeping face and his name on her lips then he’ll take it.

Nott makes a familiar groan as she slowly lifts her head from the bed. She quickly pats the bed to find Caleb’s long legs missing and darts her head toward the empty pillow before looking up to see him sitting across the room. Her messy bed head is painfully adorable and one of her long ears looks to be flipped inside out, she looks so small draped in his long coat. She looks down at herself to see the makeshift blanket and paws at it with sleepy hands, releasing herself from where she tangled one of her legs in the arm of the coat. 

Nott looks over at Caleb in confusion, “Why do I have your coat?”

——

“You had uh, fallen asleep on it, I didn’t want to wake you yet,” Caleb answers, he seems to be in a bit of a daze.

“Thank you, Caleb. I was having a… very nice dream.” Nott feels a pleasant warmth in her chest remembering her dream. She was walking through a town, no matter which one, with no mask and no cloak just feeling the breeze through her hair and the sun on her skin. No one paid her any mind as she looked no different than any other halfling. She feels a rough hand wrap around hers and she looks up to see Caleb looking down at her fondly, almost glowing in the sunlight. The background shifts and she doesn’t pay attention to it, she only has eyes for Caleb. He crouches down to be level with her and pulls her small hand to his lips for a gentle kiss, his brilliant blue eyes shining almost phosphorescent and reflective like a jewel. She whispers his name and carefully places her other hand on his cheek, expecting to see claws where there are none. He leans into her hand, Nott isn’t sure she’s ever seen Caleb make a face like this one. The dream starts to fade and flicker to an end leaving Nott feeling a strange mix of emotions.

She sees that Caleb looks flushed, but the room isn’t uncomfortably warm today, she has his coat and he even took off his shoes. He also has quite a grip on the front of his shirt like a little old lady clutching her pearls. She was going to actively try not to stare at him today and he goes and looks like that?

“Are you feeling alright? You look a bit red. You aren’t ill are you?” Nott asks, concern painting her still sleep scratched voice. 

“No I don’t think so.” He looks to be getting redder by the minute.

“You look like you have a fever. Stay there let me check.”

Nott hops down from the bed and strides over to Caleb, rolling her sleeves up away from her hands. To her surprise, Caleb leans away. He’s so tense that the visible parts of his hands are white with strain. 

“You aren’t going to get me sick Caleb I eat rats for breakfast,” Nott chuckles a bit at herself before reaching toward Caleb’s forehead.

“You said my name. In your sleep.”

There’s a heavy moment of silence between them and Nott carefully pulls her outstretched hand away. Apparently Caleb isn’t sick. She feels the tips of her ears heat up and her face grow dark.

“Did I?” Nott croaks. 

Caleb nods, he’s waiting for her to tell him why. What could the harm be in telling him? It wasn’t a naughty dream, not today thankfully. She has spent some time debating whether or not she should bring up the… tension that has been bubbling between them, try and get some resolution perhaps. Nott may not be as smart as Caleb but she’s smart enough to see that it’s not just her, no matter how casual Caleb tries to act. Perhaps this was her unconscious way of saying ‘GET ON WITH IT!’.

“I-I had a dream about you,” Nott looks down toward her fidgeting hands, claws clicking together quietly, “We were walking through some town, I was… I looked like a halfling and you well, you just looked like you,” Nott doesn’t mention that he looked beautiful in the sunlight.

She looks back at Caleb, obscuring some of her features with her long black hair, and of course finds him watching her intently in that way that he does. He almost looks confused. But she continues.

“You ah, you took my hand and, it was very gentlemanly of you Caleb, you gave it a little kiss like those fancy noblemen do. Oh and your eyes were so shiny! Like they were glowing! A-and I suppose that this is when you heard me say your name.” Nott feels like she’s rambling but Caleb is still watching, he has finally released the strangle hold he had on his shirt and he has a look of practiced neutrality on his red face.

“I touched your face… and then I woke up,” She ends as abruptly as her dream did. 

There’s another moment of silence and Nott is hoping that she hasn’t misread Caleb’s actions and he is actually repulsed by the idea of kissing goblins. He seems to be considering his options, his bright eyes scanning back and forth across her face as he thinks. She wonders how he sees her in this moment.

He squares his shoulders a bit and looks down at his hands before reaching out and carefully grabbing one of Nott’s. Caleb looks up from their hands to peer at Nott, gauging her reaction. They’re nearly level with each other while he’s sitting. She can feel his hand trembling slightly as he slowly brings it to his face, his gaze intense and focused. Her hand is so small in his, his chapped lips press gently against all three of her knuckles. 

She hasn’t loved him more than in this moment.

Nott briefly contemplates simply recreating her dream and placing her hand on his cheek. But fortune favors the bold and she’s looking to cash out. She quickly pulls her hand from his grasp, there’s a brief moment of disappointment in his expression before his eyes grow wide as Nott places both of her hands on either side of Caleb’s warm face. She holds his gaze for a moment looking for a sign to stop, he actually looks a bit like the Caleb in her dreams now.

——

Caleb is about to burst into flames. He’s only ever been so forward when attempting to con his way out of trouble, not when it’s meant something. His hand is still warm with the feeling of her small calloused fingers lingering on his skin. But now that heat has been brought to both his cheeks and her glowing golden eyes are trained on him like a patient predator, he can feel her claws just barely touching his sideburns. He should feel frightened being in the grasp of a goblin, but he has never felt more safe. Carefully he grasps at Nott’s slender waist, looking to tether himself to something so he doesn’t float away. 

That is apparently all the encouragement that she needs to take a step closer, pressing her lips firmly into his, and by the gods he’s flying. He scrambles for purchase, pulling her closer and wrapping his arms all the way around her middle. This is all he’s been hoping for, holding her in his arms and not letting go, the one good thing he feels he can have. Nott has pushed her hands into his hair, nimble fingers curling around the locks at the back of his neck and holding tight. Caleb pulls Nott closer until she’s standing between his legs, no longer feeling any sense of propriety if it means he can feel her warm body pressed against his chest. She doesn’t seem to mind since she lets him guide her to him, a soft sound of pleasure escaping her.

Caleb feels overfull, he’s overflowing with excitement and joy and a tender fondness for this brave beautiful woman in his arms. All this energy needs somewhere to go so Caleb squeezes Nott to his chest and stands up out of his chair grateful that Nott weighs about as much as a sack of flour. Her dangling feet immediately scramble for purchase, hooking around Caleb’s boney hips as her arms tighten their hold around his shoulders. Caleb spins them in place quick and bumbling, as Nott makes a surprised noise against his lips. He spins and sways and wanders across the room aimlessly before bumping into the bed. Caleb leans down so that Nott can slide off of him and onto the bed, only now allowing her the room to break their kiss.

Nott pulls away, pressing her forehead against his to catch her breath, but moves no further. Caleb is drowning in her and he doesn’t even want to come up for air. Safe in her strong arms and basking in her light he has no where else he would rather be. 

“Oh Caleb, darling I’ve got you,” She’s petting his hair now, and he recognizes this tone of voice, she thinks he’s panicking. With the sound of nearly manic laughter escaping him he doesn’t blame her.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Just… excited.” He feels a bit embarrassed saying it that way but it’s true. 

He finally opens his eyes and she looks like she did the night before: radiant and resplendent. He pushes some hair away from her face before gently placing his hand on the side of her face as if she were the delicate one of the two.

“Meine götter, you’re so beautiful.” He blurts out before he has full control of his mouth again. 

Nott’s ears, which were on high alert just moments before, swoop low. Her face grows greener still before thumping her head against his shoulder, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. 

“So you’re allowed to say nice things about me but I can’t return zem, is zat correct?” He chuckles, moving his hand to her back for a sympathetic pat.

“That is correct, no more talking from the wizard,” Nott mumbles against his neck.

He barks out a laugh, wrapping both of his gangly arms around Nott’s back as laughter continues to rattle out of his chest.

——

Nott has never felt so alive, to feel desire and desired in return, looking the way she does. Caleb doesn’t even seem to notice the fact that she’s green and has sharp teeth, he kissed her back with reckless abandon all the same. He even sprung from his chair, excited in a way that he usually only reserves for gaining new spells and she was the cause. He called her beautiful, his Zemnian accent thick in his voice.

Slowly Nott draws her hands from his shoulders down his chest. She finally brings herself away from his neck to look at his face, he’s smiling at her so broadly she isn’t sure his face can contain it.

“So… is this a thing? A-are we making this a thing?” Nott gestures between them.

“Only if you want it to be a thing,” Caleb replies a little nervously, always looking to give her a way out, even if she would rather dig in deeper.

“I 100% want this to be a thing.” She is resolute, looking him right in the eyes, they’re clear as a summer sky.

Another face breaking smile erupts from him, he runs his hands across her back as he unwraps his arms from around her. “May I kiss you again?” His voice soft in the close quarters they keep.

“Yes, please,” Nott responds almost too quickly, too loud.

Caleb wastes no time grabbing either side of her face with his big hands, thumbs on her cheeks and fingers touching at the back of her head, pulling her back into a passionate kiss. Caleb never does anything by halves, and for this Nott is ever thankful. And now that this is a thing Nott feels that there is an open invitation to spread her fingers wide on his chest and slide her hands greedily down his stomach, fingers bumping over the leather of his holster before grabbing his narrow hips which are positioned between her knees. Carefully she slips her tongue between her sharp teeth and runs it gently against his lips. She feels Caleb shiver under her touch and never wants to let go.

It’s Caleb that pulls away this time. He huffs out a breath, his face is flushed and he licks his lips, he’s trembling in her arms. If she has to stop kissing him Nott supposes she would be ok with just staring at him if he keeps looking like this.

“Perhaps zis thing could go a little slower?” Caleb looks down at her with pleading eyes, soft like a puppy.

“Oh! Y-yes yes of course, of course!” Her hands start fluttering up away from his hips to grasp at his arms, “I’m sorry, Caleb! I got a little overzealous didn’t I?”

“It’s just been…” He looks to be attempting to remember something before rolling his eyes at himself, “…quite a long time for me and well, I’d prefer not to rush zis.”

“Of course, of course. I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask if it was ok.” Nott feels a bit embarrassed by how handsy she allowed herself to be. Caleb may have been eager but he still had his boundaries. 

“It’s very much ok, but maybe we take our time on… that, ja?” He looks embarrassed talking about it, but his eyes hold firm.

“I’ll follow your lead, as always.” Nott looks at him with open affection, and he does the same.

“Alright then.” He pulls her forward again, much more gently this time placing his lips on hers for another kiss, a slow and soft thing. There’s no rush, no urgency, they’ve got no where to be but right here in each others arms.

—— 

It’s midmorning now, and the pangs of hunger have driven the pair downstairs for breakfast. They’ve decided to play it cool, keep this new thing of theirs quiet and to themselves for the time being. 

However, that doesn’t seem to matter to the nosey types like Mollymauk who immediately begins studying the two of them, holding his chin in his hand. To most they likely seem to be acting normally, they aren’t ones for pubic displays of affection as it is, but Molly knows to look. Nott pays him no mind, cheerfully watching over Jester’s shoulder as she doodles some… concerning pictures. But he locks eyes with Caleb, who holds his stare, maintaining a neutral expression. Mollymauk wiggles his well groomed eyebrows in a way that would look cartoonish on anyone else before shifting his hand on his face and making and obscene gesture with his forked tongue. Caleb feels an immediate rush of heat to his face at the implication, glaring at Molly and subtly flipping him off from the next table. He even lights a small fire at the end of his finger for emphasis. 

Mollymauk barks one loud laugh before putting his cup of coffee to his lips. Caleb extinguishes the fire and pulls a hand through his hair before glancing around and making eye contact again, this time giving Mollymauk a subtle wink and a smile before returning to his breakfast. He hears the clank of Molly’s cup as he brings his hand down with a bit too much force, but Caleb continues to smile pridefully at the table, not giving him another glance.


End file.
